The Enlightened Parent

Shelby, our beloved dog of 15 years had cancer and recently we had to put her to sleep on the advice of our vet after numerous surgeries to remove recurring tumors. She had been in our family since before our children were born. When our boys were in diapers she had learned appreciation for infants because of the the dinner table scraps dropped from highchairs. She had been there guarding our family every day as our boys went through preschool and elementary school. Shelby was loving and loyal to a fault and was always cheerful and ready for an evening stroll. She knew the words “walk” and “treat” and would get excited when either were mentioned. In recent years Shelby became deaf as a post. She slept a lot and couldn’t jump on the couch anymore when I wasn’t looking, but she stayed loving and true until the very end.  

We had a family meeting when her situation became critical, and our boys all had their own reactions. At first, Connor wanted to wait, and he got teary at the prospect of putting Shelby down. Craig was more accepting and philosophical and talked about what a great life she had for the past 15 years.  Matthew asked questions about what would happen to her soul after it left her body and wanted to understand the medical process of the euthanasia. We processed all this for some weeks before finally setting an appointment with the vet to come to our house. When the day arrived, the boys wanted to stay home from school to spend Shelby’s last day with her. They took her for walks, fed her lots of her favorite treats, and lavished her with attention. It was a beautiful day.

When the vet arrived at our front door that evening, our boys were ready to help Shelby make her transition. We were all around her petting her when the vet sedated her. The vet was patient and understanding and let us talk and cry and love on her until we were ready. When it was time, we all had tears when the vet gave Shelby the final injection. She passed peacefully with her family all around her. When she passed, the room was still and we all thought we could feel her spirit floating above us in the room as we encouraged her to go to the light of doggie heaven.

Through this whole process our boys all expressed a deep love and appreciation for Shelby. They each worked through their own feelings of sadness in their own ways and showed an astonishing maturity in helping Shelby to move on to the next phase of her soul’s journey. Our family had a profound space of peace and gratitude during Shelby’s transition. Through this process our boys learned that they don’t have to fear death, and they learned to say goodbye with grace and ease.  These are life lessons that they will carry with them always and for this I am grateful.

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